Hamster Love & Forever Families

A few weeks ago, we broke down and allowed AlinaJayne to get a hamster. I have to admit, he is quite cute and easy to care for, so it hasn't been the nightmare I thought!

On the way home from the pet store that evening, AlinaJayne told me that day would be her hamster's "Adoption Day." I thought that was sweet, and soon we were home, getting the newest member of our family settled in.

A few days later, Mr. Panda Hamster (yes, this is his name) was in his exercise ball in the girls' bedroom, and I overheard AlinaJayne telling him his adoption story: "Mr. Panda Hamster, you came home to me last week. Your Tummy Mama could not take care of you, and we might never know why. But God knew you needed a Mama to take care of you, so he brought us together, and now we are a Forever Family."

This Mama's heart simply melted. We are so blessed that God made us a Forever Family.

The Gift of Unanswered Prayers.......

New blog title, new year, almost ANOTHER new year!

To say this year has slipped away is an understatement. This blog has been seriously neglected because, well, life gets in the way, and of course, that darned Facebook is just so easy to give a quick status update and be done. However, I realized that I missed blogging, so I am back, to stay.

So much has happened in the last year. As you know, our baby girl came home from Ethiopia. There were a lot of struggles and adjustments. She was very sick when she came to us, but finally we think all of that is behind us. She had what we think is her last of the medical challenges addressed in early August, which was a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy-which should address her obstructive sleep apnea-YAY! However, even that was not without challenges. She had some post-op complications that required a trip back to the hospital :(
On top of the medical challenges of the last year, there have of course, been the challenges of the family of three becoming a family of four, and getting to know each other. The greatest challenge of all, has been for AlinaJayne, who until June 12, 2010, had been the only child. We know it was tough for her to be 5 years old and suddenly have a 3 year old sister. No amount of pre-adoption preparation could prepare a child for that, regardless of what the "professionals" tell you. Then top of the last year with the cherry-Mama started a new job just 4 weeks before ChallieJayne came home. Whew. Through it all, and only by the Grace of God, things get better each and every day. Praise the Lord!

So, why the new blog title you might ask? It is simple.

Matt and I knew each other in High School, dated briefly and then went our separate ways. In June 1999, our paths crossed again (thanks to a chance meeting by our siblings) and we went on a date arranged by them. We were engaged in July and married in November!

It is no secret that for many years, Matt and I tried to have a biological child. When we realized that would not be an option, we discussed adoption, donor eggs, surrogacy, and every other road to parenting. We had felt a calling to China, but foolishly thought it was "too scary to deal with a foreign government" so we briefly pursued a domestic adoption. It did not take long to realize that was not the path we were meant to take, and that our child was waiting for us in China. In 2005, we started the process to bring our oldest daughter home, and in May, 2006, at the age of 15 months, AlinaJayne joined her Forever Family. We always wanted two children, but this time, we felt the Lord pulling us toward Ethiopia, so in 2007, we started the process to bring our second child home. In June, 2010, we welcomed 3 year old ChallieJayne to her Forever Family.

Wow, that was easy! Right? Piece of cake. Kristy and Matt couldn't have a biological child, so they "just adopted and they all lived happily ever after." The Lord was in control and it all worked out as it should. Right? WRONG! Well, yes, the Lord IS in control and it did all work out as it should, but we did not know that at the time!

For years and years, we tried the "traditional" way to have a baby. Then moved on to fertility pills. Then fertility pills and intrauterine inseminations. Then fertility shots and intrauterine inseminations. Then fertility shots and in-vitro fertilization. Soon our lives revolved around medication calendars, injection cycles, trips to the fertility doctor and ultrasounds. Matt even learned how to give me a shot into my hip muscle every morning for months at a time! Month after month, cycle after cycle, year after year, nothing, nada, zip, ZERO (except one very early miscarriage). Matt and I were not Christians at the time (well, not in the true sense, we went to church but were not saved and had no clue). We prayed, begged, pleaded with God, made deals, bargains "Please, if you just let us get pregnant ONE time, we promise to do ABC, XYZ." Guess, what? The Lord is not in the bargaining business! He did not answer one of our prayers! It was so difficult for so many years-I couldn't stand to see the baby section at the grocery store, or a department store, and a baby shower invitation? Forget it! It was a miracle if I could even bring myself to MAIL a gift. I was spent! The Lord never listened to one of our prayers, never paid a bit of attention to our pleadings. I cried out, and he ignored me..................

It is all so clear to me now. People ask me all the time "aren't you even a little bit sad that you never got pregnant? Doesn't it ever bother you that you never gave birth?" I can say, without reservation, with complete and total honesty and transparency, a resounding NO! When I look at our children, I thank God. I thank Him for them continually. I am blessed to be their Mother. I look and them now, and it scares me to realize I would have missed out on all of this, if I had gotten *my* way. I thank the Lord for unanswered prayers. When I look at my children, I am reminded "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9.......................

Home 6 Months................

Six months ago today, ChallieJayne was welcomed into her Forever Family. It is hard to believe it has been six months, but at the same time, it feels like she has always been here. That's the amazing thing about adoption. I think because that new child has grown in your heart for so long, it is as if they are "here" the entire time.

There have been and will continue to be many firsts for us and ChallieJayne. She had her first Halloween, first Thanksgiving. Her first overnight stay with Papa (after begging to have both of the girls at the same time, I think that will be the last time he asks to do that), and now her first Christmas. I don't think she fully understands the real meaning of the season, but she sure has the American mindset about it "Mama, Daddy, I want THAT....and that and that and and and!!!

The adjustment is getting easier each day, we are slowly figuring each other out. Her English skills are phenomenal, especially considering this is her *third* language. She spoke the Oromo language in her birth town, then Amharic at the orphanage in Addis Ababa, now English. Fairly amazing. The girls are together part of the day in school. In the AM for a while before AlinaJayne goes to K-5, then after K-5 until they come home. They are still sharing a room, but giving ChallieJayne her own room is a priority after the first of the year. The intentions were good, allow them to share a room for bonding, but they could both use their own "space."

I have added a collage from Halloween, Thanksgiving, and the start of the Christmas season. Each of the girls have their own tree, decorated with ornaments from their birth countries. Of course, ChallieJayne only has one ornament, as this is her first Christmas home.

Enjoy the pics and have a blessed Christmas!

Of Mothers & Daughters...............

Today I am celebrating the best gift I have been given (next to my hubby of course), being a Mama. Four years ago today in a hot and stuffy room in Changsha, Hunan, we met AlinaJayne for the first time. I have been blessed beyond comprehension to be able to parent AlinaJayne. I tend to be very focused and driven, and she makes me stop and realize what is truly important in this world. It's amazing how much a 5 year old can teach an almost 42 year old about life. God knew what he was doing when he made us a family.

I am also thinking about our youngest daughter who is waiting for us in Ethiopia. I would give anything to have her here with me on this Mother's Day, but we are at the mercy of a less than perfect Immigration system that does not see the importance of bringing children home to American parents. I will never be able to fix the system, so all I can do is pray that she is safe, send love in my prayers, and hope that another family who is traveling to bring their child home will take pictures for us. Her birthday was May 7th, and we missed that. Our agency spoke with the immigration officer on April 28th, and he said the supplemental documentation that our agency provided would be sufficient, so we expected to receive written confirmation of this last week. Unfortunately, this did not come, so we keep waiting. I have to say that I am doubtful that she will be home by the end of June-even though our agency predicted the end of May/early June. A Mama always knows...

On this Mother's Day, I also find myself thinking about AlinaJayne & ChallieJayne's Birthmothers (and AlinaJayne's Foster Mama/ChallieJayne's nannies).We owe so much to them. Without the selfless and painful decision their Birthmothers made, we would not be their parents. We are also so grateful for AlinaJayne's Foster Mama and the nannies who are caring for ChallieJayne until she can come home. They have all had such an important part of these children's early lives.

Today we did the annual Mother's Day planting. We always landscape my Mom's grave for the spring/summer season, and then come home to plant roses and lilies for AlinaJayne's Birthmother (aka Tummy Mama) and Foster Mama. Next year we will also be planting a rosebush for ChallieJayne's Birthmother.

I will end this post with a profession of love and gratitude for my own Mom. She sacrificed so much for us, always putting herself last to be sure we had what we needed. When you are a child, this selflessness is lost in the drama of day to day life. As a Mama, I realize that I own her more than I could ever re-pay her. I can only hope to be a fraction of the woman she was.

I saw this on a friend's webpage today and wanted to share it.

IF ROSES GROW IN HEAVEN


"If roses grow in Heaven, Lord, pick a bunch for me, place them in her arms & tell her they're from me. Tell her that I love &
miss her and when she turns to smile, place a kiss upon her cheek & hold her for awhile. Because remembering her is easy. I do it everyday. There's an ache within my heart that will never go away."

Enjoy the pics. You can click on them to enlarge them.

Happy Mother's Day.

 

(Mother's Day)

 

(ChallieJayne)

Christmas News!!!

We received some unexpected news this AM. Our agency e-mailed us late last night to tell us we have a court date in Ethiopia! Our case will be heard JANUARY 6th!

We are still not sharing this info with many people. SO MANY things can happen......Most people know we have been in the process for a very long time, so this is not a top secret activity. However, there are so many unknowns in international adoption, it just does not make any sense to share too much info when we really don't know all that much. There just is not any concrete info to share with family and friends. In fact, I think there are actually many more unknowns than there were with AlinaJayne's adoption from China. With that program, you have definite dates and info in a fairly predictable fashion. With Ethiopia, the entire process is different. We know we have a court date-but we may fail on the first date and have to wait for a second, third, etc. We have no idea when homecoming may be (plus our child will be escorted, adding more time). Spring? Summer? We can't even tell our employers anything yet-we don't have any idea what the timing might be, and it makes no sense to say "hey, we have a court date and we *might* pass court, and we will need some time off, but we don't know when." It makes more sense to wait for real dates-that part of the process is very frustrating.

On another note. A waiting family from our agency is in Ethiopia right now visiting. I forgot that they were going, and forgot to ask them ahead of time to take some pics of Chaltu. I sent them a message the other day after they arrived in Ethiopia-and found out that they had not only already taken pics of her, but they held her for almost an hour! They said she pretty much smiles ALL THE TIME!

So much to be thankful for...........and SO MUCH TO DO!!!

Merry Christmas!

Giving Thanks............

On this day of thanks, I have so many things to be thankful for. First and foremost, I give thanks to God for always proving me all that I need-I have more blessings than I deserve-in fact, I cannot begin to list them all here.

I have recently found myself giving even more thanks than usual for our daughter. Although I have had "scholarly" articles published nationally, I cannot ever seem to find the words to express my thanks for our daughter AlinaJayne. My cousin sent me a link to this article today-on Thanksgiving no less, and I just had to share it.

I listen to NPR many times each day, and I had no idea that one of my favorite correspondents (Scott Simon) has children adopted from China. He also mentioned Oromia (in Ethiopia) where our youngest daughter (waiting for us) is from.

I will defer these words of thanks to Mr. Simon.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Blessings in Disguise

It has been a while since I have posted anything substantial. We went through a few "bumps in the road" in the last few weeks, and I needed to get our house in order so to speak.

As many of you know, the economic downturn has hit health care along with every other sector. My office has been no exception. In the last 6 mos, the company I work for started by initiating a hiring freeze, then closing the office on 2/4 Saturdays per month, then all 4 Saturdays, to finally, closing my office 2 days per week. Obviously, this was a huge shock to me, as I have always worked full-time plus. In the past, when Matt's job would slow down, I was always able to "take up the slack" by picking up extra hours to compensate. Things have been slow at his job, and as a result, he had been working about 24 hours per week, taking a few hours of vacation time here and there to cushion things. I was able to make up the rest. Then suddenly, I was facing a reduction in hours, and I was at a loss. For a few days, I was convinced this was the end of the world. The end of everything that we know. We just came off of hold with our adoption agency and were back on the waiting list for a referral. Now this! I spent several days feeling sorry for myself, for us (but in all honesty, mostly myself).

So many wonderful friends have been such a tremendous support, and they helped me to see the situation with a fresh set of eyes. Allow me to list how what I was originally convinced was the end of the world, is actually a blessing:

(1) Recently, I had been talking with my Dad about how a certain relative has taken the summer off from school to "be with her kids" but seems to dump them off at her Dad's more than she has them herself. I mentioned to my Dad on numerous occasions, what I wouldn't give to be able to have the summer home with MY daughter. Well, maybe this IS my opportunity for more one on one time with her. This may be the only time we have together like this-she starts K-4 in the fall.

(2) In the last few months, both my Dad's Neurologist and his Nephrologist, have asked him to have me contact them to discuss a job with them, as they both "really need a Nurse Practitioner" to help with their work loads. One was looking for someone full or part-time, the other, part-time to start. Of course, I never did contact them. I figured all was fine where I was, I like the work I do, the hours are good, and to be honest, I was afraid of the challenge of a new position in a new specialty. I have gotten very "spoiled" by simplicity of the work I do. I could see no reason to "upset the apple cart" especially if we would be adding to our family in the next year. I could not justify adding another life change to the mix, so I all but forgot about it. Besides, how the heck would I interview somewhere when I work everyday? Well, if I had not had a reduction in hours, I can say for certain, I STILL would not be looking for a new job. I realize my Dad's doctors may have already filled the positions, but now I have a *reason* to look for a more challenging job with better compensation.

(3) Another thing-pertaining to the adoption plans. Since we started this journey, way back before Alina Jayne, there have been "signs" that we were somehow not meant to have a son. To begin, back in 2004, we were pursuing the domestic adoption route. We were selected by a birthmother who (after we traveled to pick up the baby) decided to try to "sell" us her child. VERY BAD SITUATION to say the least. We ended up pursuing adoption through China (which ironically, was our first choice, but we were too afraid to deal with a foreign government-naive, I know) and I cannot stress enough how much Alina Jayne was meant to be our daughter. When we decided to pursue a second adoption from Ethiopia, we indicated that we were open to a child of either gender-which means we would be referred a boy. Well, in March, we received a referral for a boy, whom we later found had profound disabilities that we were not approved for, or had the resources to deal with. As a result, we had to make the very difficult decision to decline the referral, and we then officially placed our file on hold. Earlier this month, we decided we were ready to pursue adoption again, and went back on the waiting list. We talked with the agency director about changing our preference to a girl at that time, but when we found out that our wait for a referral would be VERY long, we selfishly decided to keep our preference as "either" knowing we'd be referred a boy quickly (likely this month). Then I found out about my reduction in hours, and it was clear. We were supposed to be exercising patience. We should have made the change and requested a girl when we went back on the waiting list in May-we were MEANT to WAIT for a girl. It is not time for us to be parents again right now, but when it is time, we are supposed to be parents to a girl.

(4) Not long after we found out about my hours, Matt's department ended up landing a huge project, one that is requiring him to work many hours to complete. Meanwhile, this heavy workload will provide a steady stream of work, while other jobs are quoted and more projects are secured for him to work on. Sure, it would have been nice for this to be the case while I was still working full-time (plus), but at least we can maintain things while I find a better position.

So, what I originally could not understand, what I was certain was the absolute worse-case scenario, ended up being sprinkled with hidden blessings. Unexpected, extra time with our daughter, the push I needed to look for a better job, and clarity in our adoption plans.

I have faith that all will work out as it is supposed to. Maybe I should have been listening to what Alina Jayne always says when she comes home from school, " God is soooooooo good."

Check back soon.

My Blessings

 

Owlhaven-an awesome blog, book and giveaway!

Okay Mom’s out there, whether you’re a Mom to many or just one; I have some info to share with you.

Several months ago, a fellow waiting Mom shared a link to Mary’s (Owlhaven) blog (which I have linked to my blog on the right of the page). She and her husband have 10 kiddos from 3 different countries. I have enjoyed reading about how she manages a large family, plus homeschooling, gardening, taking photos, and writing a book!

Her book, “A Sane Woman’s Guide to Raising a Large Family” will be released in April and is currently available for pre-order. She is currently hosting a “book giveaway” and you can click on the link above and enter for a chance to win one of four copies she is giving away. I do not have a large family, just large responsibilities to my family! I read her blog daily, and I cannot wait to read this book. Even if I do not win a copy, you can bet I will order one for myself!

Good luck!

The Birds & The Bees (According to a 3 1/2 Year Old)

So last night Alina Jayne and I were in her bedroom getting her clothes out for today-she saw the chairs we have for her new sibling's room, and asked "Mama, where is my new baby sister & when is she gonna come home with us?" At this point, we no longer tell her that she is likely to end up with a new *brother* since she doesn't want to hear that, so I told her that her new sister is still in Ethiopia, and it could be a long time before she is home. She asked "Is someone feeding her? Are they taking good care of her?" I assured her that she is being cared for, and that she may even still be inside her "Tummy Mama's" tummy (this is what she calls her Birthmother). She seemed relieved and said "Oh good, then she is getting food from her Tummy Mama's tummy." Then she asked me "Mama, I wasn't inside your tummy, was I?" We talk about this quite often, but she still asks me. I reminded her that she was inside her China Tummy Mama's tummy, and that while she was growing there, she was in my heart. Of course she said "I really wanted to be in YOUR tummy-am I too big now?" I assured her that she was too big-then the BIG question came-

"Mama, how DID I get out of my Tummy Mama's tummy??? How did she get me out of there?" Now, let me say, I am well prepared to discuss the birds and the bees with an older child, but I was in no way prepared for THIS discussion! After I choked on my words for a second, the best I could come up with was "Well, it was a lot of hard work, she just pushed really hard and you came out." She really seemed to buy this story and said "Oh, yeah Mama, you are RIGHT! She went like this" (and proceeded to gag-like a cat choking on a hairball) " and I came out!!" She suddenly stopped for a second to reflect on the mental image and said "Oh my goodness! I hope she didn't get spit on me!!!"

I am still recovering today............................

A Time for CELEBRATION!!!

This is a very exciting day in our house! After what seems like an eternity (although in reality it has only been a few months total), we received a very special e-mail from our Adoption Placing Agency today-our dossier (the official mound of documents and application) was sent to Ethiopia on Thursday!

Yep,on 11/13/08, all of the hours, days, weeks of work (applications, education, visits with the Homestudy Social Worker, personal and employer references, numerous e-mails, local criminal background checks, physical exams and lab work, etc, etc), all of the hard work was condensed into a package that was sent to Ethiopia. We are DTE (Dossier to Ethiopia)!!!

Now the "Official" wait begins. We still need to clear what used to be known as "Immigration" (now known as USCIS). This is THE background check that will (hopefully) yield the coveted I171-H (the authorization to adopt a child internationally). We have our fingerprint appointment next week. The process is actually two-fold. First, your fingerprints have to "pass" a QA check, meaning they are good enough to be analyzed. Then, if the quality is sufficient to allow an analysis, they are checked against a HUGE database (kind of like you would see on CSI) to determine that you have NO criminal history.

Whew!

Is anyone else exhausted?? I know I am!!! In fact, I feel a lot like Alina Jayne looks in this picture!


I am lucky (in more ways than I can even begin to count), I have "met" a lot of really great people from our Adoption Placing Agency who are in the same place as we are right now in this process. It will be great to share such an awesome journey with them! We met some wonderful people when we adopted Alina Jayne; people we will have a life-long bond with. I can see more life-long bonds forming on this journey too.

Check back often-we'll keep you posted!