Giving Thanks............

On this day of thanks, I have so many things to be thankful for. First and foremost, I give thanks to God for always proving me all that I need-I have more blessings than I deserve-in fact, I cannot begin to list them all here.

I have recently found myself giving even more thanks than usual for our daughter. Although I have had "scholarly" articles published nationally, I cannot ever seem to find the words to express my thanks for our daughter AlinaJayne. My cousin sent me a link to this article today-on Thanksgiving no less, and I just had to share it.

I listen to NPR many times each day, and I had no idea that one of my favorite correspondents (Scott Simon) has children adopted from China. He also mentioned Oromia (in Ethiopia) where our youngest daughter (waiting for us) is from.

I will defer these words of thanks to Mr. Simon.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Singing Praises

As some of you might have noticed, my weekly "Thankful Thursday" posts have been conspicuously absent in the recent weeks. That being said, I want to be clear that I have more things to be thankful for than I can even begin to count. However, it seems that some part of me has been waiting for some magical day when every aspect of life is in pefect order to post. Fortunately, I was blessed with a lesson that has helped me re-focus.

I was awakened before dawn Friday morning by the sound of thunder, and lightening bolts illuminating our bedroom. Above the crashes of thunder and howling wind, I could hear birds-singing. Not a subdued chirping, but beautiful, spirited song. I sat silently for a moment in awe of the irony. In the middle of a torrential storm, they were not hiding in silence, paralyzed by fear, but filling the world with their song. It was as if they were saying "no matter what the weather, we rejoice!"

I was suddenly aware of how much we could learn from the birds. In the midst of life's storms, so many of us tend to allow our trials to steal our joy, to rob us of our confidence. We allow our trials to dilute our happiness today, and our worries spill over into our tomorrow, dampening that day as well. We forget how to sing, and how to face each day as a new gift worthy of celebration.

I am fairly certain that the birds do not wake up each day and check the weather forecast, or wait to see how the day's events unfold before deciding if they are going to sing! They start their day with a song no matter what the weather!

As a new Christian, I realized today how important it is to sing The Lord's praises every single day, no matter what the weather. I realized that I should be waking up each day with the attitude "This is the day that the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it-and make the devil MAD in the process! Period. End of story. Not with the caveat "I will rejoice today if everything goes well," or "I will be thankful for this day if..........."

Amazing that I learned such an important lesson from the birds.

Happy weekend all.

Thankful Thursday-06/04/09

Ten years ago this week (6/1/99), Matt and I had our very first date (thanks to the insistence of our siblings who were dating at the time). I will be forever thankful for them, and for the fact that I (albeit reluctantly) got out of my jammies to meet them for dinner! My life was changed forever (thank God for that) that day.

Although we have been through our share of trials together, our love has only grown stronger as a result. The life we have built together is more of a blessing than I can comprehend, and far more than I deserve.

Here's to the next 10 years Matthew! I love you more than you could ever understand!

Thankful Thursday-05/14/09

With my fourth Mother's Day just a pleasant memory, I cannot go without proclaiming my thankfulness for the precious gift I have in my daughter.

While I am always thankful for the opportunity to be able to adopt her as our own, I must give special thanks to her Birthmother. Without her and her selflessness, Alina Jayne would not be our daughter today. As I celebrate each Mother’s day, my joy is always tempered with the bittersweet truth that along with my happiness, is a sorrow for her Birthmother's tremendous loss. As I look at my daughter, I wonder if her Birthmother misses her. Does Alina Jayne look like her? Does she have her personality? Does she get her love of the outdoors from her? Does her Birthmother wonder the same thing about the baby girl she could not keep? Does she regret her decision? Does she have other children? I feel sorrow for all of the things her Birthmother is missing. Alina Jayne's spicy personality, her headstrong ways, her moods, her grace, the way she is blossoming into a beautiful young lady, the way she learns so many new things every day. While I am eternally grateful for each morning as she wakes up, kissing me, telling me "it's a sunny day Mama, I love you," and for each evening when she says "you always tuck me in don’t you Mama? It's because you love me so much, right?" I am saddened that her Birthmother cannot see how happy......and loved she is.

I am also eternally grateful for the Foster Family who raised her until Matt and I traveled to China to bring her home. They cared for her from the time she was one month old, until we arrived in China when she was 15 months old. The fact that she did not have to live in an institution, but rather with a family, consisting of a Mama, Daddy, their biological daughter and a Grandmother, meant that she was able to more easily have her needs met on a consistent basis. I believe that has helped her in immeasurable ways in terms of trust and bonding.

 

Alina Jayne's Foster Family

We may never know why her Birthmother could not raise her, or how she felt about her decision. I do know that we will be forever grateful for her Birthmother for giving her life, for her Foster Family who lovingly cared for her as their own, and for the Chinese Government, who entrusted us to raise one of their own children. All of these people helped make us into the family we are today.

 

Our first pics of Alina Jayne (from her referral Package)

Thank you..............

Thankful Thursday-05/07/09

We received some very happy news a little over a week ago. A sweet member (Dani) of the small Yahoo group we belong to for parents waiting for children from Ethiopia, contacted me. She wanted me to know that she realized I have not been keeping up to date with the Yahoo groups since we placed our adoption on hold, but had good news for us.

That news was that the baby we were not able to accept, had FOUND A FOREVER FAMILY!!! She had seen the announcement on a larger Yahoo group that a family had accepted his referral! Needless to say, we are thrilled! We have been praying that he would be matched to the right family, and he was.

We still had ALL of the photos of him that we acquired from the time we accepted his referral in March. We were never sure what to do with them. On the one hand, it was too painful to look at them; but at the same time, we certainly could not get rid of them.

After I found out about his new family, I found the post on that Yahoo group and e-mailed his new Mommy, asking her if she'd like the photos. She said yes, so I mailed them to her and her husband. They were happy to receive them, but did not realize until after reading our blog (it was listed at the bottom of my e-mail to her), that Matt and I had originally received the referral for their baby. I did not mention it in my e-mail to her, just that I had the photos-I figured if she asked, I'd be happy to explain.

I did ask her to feel free to stay in touch with us, but I am not sure if she will feel comfortable doing so. If they do not feel comfortable, I fully understand, it may seem a bit awkward to them. We are still so at peace knowing he finally has a home to go to.

Stay tuned. Sunday will be a BIG day in our house. It is Mother's Day. I spent my very first Mother's Day IN China after we adopted Alina Jayne-thankfully she is a far different child now, and actually LIKES her Mama! Way different story in 2006 after I took her out of her Foster Mama's arms at the Civil Affairs Office! Sunday is also the THIRD Anniversary of Alina Jayne's Adoption Day. We met her on May 9th, 2006(Forever Family Day) and the adoption took place on May 10th, 2006. And finally-Matt and I are planning to be Baptized on Sunday. Yep, you read this correctly!

Lots and LOTS to be thankful for :O)

Thankful Thursday-04/30/2009

Today I'd like to explain (as completely as I can on a blog) why I am so thankful for my Father.

My Dad came from a family of 12-number 4 of 12 to be exact. My Grandfather had a excavating business and my Grandmother stayed at home with the kids, as was standard at that time. As you can imagine, money was scarce. None of the kids were able to attend college, but most were fortunate enough to find good paying jobs which allowed them to support their families. My Dad was no exception.

My Dad worked for over 42 years for one of the Big Three Automakers. That job allowed him to support a family of three daughters and my Mom, without her having to work outside of the home. My sisters and I never had "everything the other kids had" but we never went without a thing we needed. My Dad's hard work took care of all of us.

Over the years, some people would criticize my Dad for "only being a factory worker." This assessment never ceased to baffle me-I have always known that my Dad is one of the wisest people I have known. Let me be clear about what that "factory worker" taught me.

First of all, he taught me the importance of being able to take care of myself-especially as a woman. He taught me the value of an education and a stable career, so I would never have to depend on someone else to take care of me. He taught me to never give up on my dreams-if I wanted something badly enough and worked hard enough, I'd be able to achieve it. He taught me to have self-confidence in all aspects of my life, and that I can be as good (or better) than anyone in any situation. He taught me to always follow my gut, my instincts. If something or someone did not seem right or genuine, they weren't and to never second guess myself. He taught me to never allow someone to mistreat me or anyone I love-if they mistreat you, you don't need them in your life. The most important thing my Dad has taught me is the true meaning of a parent. He has always given endless and UNCONDITIONAL love, supported us even when he might not always agree with our decisions, and sacrificed dearly to be sure his kids always had everything they needed, going without time and time again so his family did not have to.

Now his kids are adults with children of their own. I still talk to my Dad at least twice a day, still go to him for advice, and he is always there for me. But since my Mom died in 2000, he has in a sense, had to serve as both Nana and Papa-undoubtedly a tough role to fill. But he extends that same unconditional love to his grandchildren-all 8 of them. I have been blessed to see this time and time again, especially with our own daughter. In January I blogged about what a difference he has made in the life of a little girl from half way around the world (A Girl & Her Papa)

If you have not yet read that post, please drop over there and see what I am talking about. Yet another reason I am thankful for my Dad.

Thankful Thursday-04/23/2009

As I previously mentioned, I am first and foremost, thankful for my family. This post will certainly reflect that.

I am thankful that my Mom was able to see me happy before she died. This may sound cliche, but it is not, let me explain.

I was married once before for a few years. The "marriage" was doomed from the beginning. It lacked the basic things needed to make any relationship work, especially a marriage. There was no trust, no respect, no support, and sadly, I realize now, no love either. I filed for divorce and moved on, a bitter, untrusting soul, who swore she would never allow herself to trust or be hurt again, determined to "do it on my own." I was happy living alone (at least I believed that at the time), and swore there would never, EVER be a man in my life to ruin it again. I was single, self-supportive and successful. I did not need a man and convinced myself I did not want children either.

A few years later, fate would bring Matt and I together. We had dated briefly in high school several years earlier, broke up and went our separate ways, each eventually marrying other people. In 1999, our siblings (my sister and his brother) ran into each other after many years, and started dating. They hounded us to meet them for dinner one night in June, 1999, and the rest is history. We were engaged in July, married in November, on my 31st b-day and my Mom and Dad's 32nd wedding anniversary (yes, I was their 1st anniversary present)!

While we were dating, I tried to convince myself that the feelings I was experiencing were a novelty, and would wear off in a month or so (I even bet Matt $100 it would not last a month). I had never in my life thought of someone so much, waited for the phone to ring, feeling my heart skip a beat when it did (then of course, trying to play it "cool" when I answered). I had never watched the clock tick away the minutes so agonizingly slowly, waiting for the time we could see each other again in the evening. I could not wait for him to call me each morning. I had never, ever felt so completely content, so happy.

One day I was talking to my Mom on the phone while I was at work. She mentioned that Matt and I had been seeing a lot of each other, and she wondered what I thought was going on. I told her that I had never in my life felt the things I was feeling. It was then (thanks to my Mom)I realized what I was feeling, when she told me "that's what love feels like, Kristy, when it's right, you know it."

A few weeks later, we were sitting on her patio after one of her chemo treatments. She turned to me and said, " I want to tell Matt thank you." Confused, I asked her why. Then she told me "for so long you have been so unhappy, so bitter, and honesty, not very much fun to be around sometimes. Matt gave me my daughter back, and I will always be thankful for that. YOU are back, he brings out all the good in you."

So no, this is not cliche. My husband is the reason for my happiness, the good in my life, my strength, my everything. My Mom was able to see this before she died, able to see her daughter happy, content, and in love with a man like the one she fell in love with so many years before. As a Mother, I know how much that must have delighted her heart, how much peace it gave her. I hope someday I can see this happen in my daughter's life.

November 30th, 1999

A word about "Wordless Wednesday" & "Thankful Thursday"

As I mentioned in a previous post-I would like to start a tradition of "Wordless Wednesday" and "Thankful Thursday."


About Wordless Wednesday:

I will post a pic (or more) of something in my life that is special. I started this by posting pics of Alina Jayne in China when we traveled there for her adoption in 2006. Since I started there, I plan to continue posting some pics from there in chronological order. After that, the pics will be more "anything goes." Disclaimer: A caption with a date only still constitutes "wordless."


About Thankful Thursday:

I want to start by saying that I have MANY things to be thankful for, the forefront of which is and always will be my family. That being said, I am hoping to start a tradition of posting about something I am thankful for every Thursday.

Stay tuned. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing.

Thankful Thursday-04/09/09

So, you are wondering what happened to my idea last week about posting just a pic or two on "Wordless Wednesday" right? I admit, I was remiss. Sometimes life gets in the way of my blogging (GASP)!

I thought I would title this post "Thankful Thursday" as we have so many things to be thankful for. Most importantly, we have each other, and of course, we are all so very lucky to still have Matt. Yes, I am talking about his accident again-I am reminded daily about how close we came to not having him-how easily I could be without my husband and soul mate, and Alina Jayne without her Father.

I thought an update on Matt was in order. He is doing remarkably well considering all he has been through. He saw the surgeon for the last time, who told him that 6 weeks post-op, the quadricep (thigh) muscles that were reconnected were (um, for lack of an easier way to explain non-medically)sewn together and reconnected would be as tightly connected and stable as they were going to be. The 6 week mark was last Saturday. Now that things are stable, he will be seeing another physician who will get him set up with rehab. He needs to learn how to correctly and fully use the muscles and the leg again. He can walk on the leg, but it is amazing how little things we take for granted are so difficult for him-and such milestones when he completes them. Like walking up and down stairs. We take that for granted, but he has to learn how to do this again after his accident. This is why he needs a good Physical Therapist to teach him how to strengthen the leg, and perform activities the rest of us do without giving it a second thought.

Yesterday he felt strong enough to stand on a ladder, and use his arms to pull himself into the 3rd floor attic through that same tiny opening he dropped out of when he cut his leg. I did not want him up there at all, first of all because I did not think he was strong enough, and secondly, because I was afraid it would be too stressful emotionally. However, he insisted he needed to get his tools (including the dreaded saw) out of there. I climbed part way up and looked around, and I was horrified to see how far away from the opening he was when he cut himself! I realized that after the saw cut his leg down to the bone, he actually managed to balance himself on the floor joists to get to the opening to get out of the attic-there is NO floor! It is a miracle he remianed conscious and did not fall through the ceiling to the 2nd floor below!

The area where the accident occurred looked better than I imagined (thankfully it was fairly dark when we were up there retrieving tools). We put the saw into a bag and brought it downstairs. Let's just say, parts of it were quite gruesome. I'll spare you the gory details, but I am sure you can imagine. I took some pics of it to file away-the G-rated versions are below.

Again, just *try* to tell me miracles don't happen.


In the operating room 02/21/09


On 04/08/09



The dreaded saw..............


Matt's new saw (aka the only one I'll EVER let him use again)!