The Gift of Unanswered Prayers.......

New blog title, new year, almost ANOTHER new year!

To say this year has slipped away is an understatement. This blog has been seriously neglected because, well, life gets in the way, and of course, that darned Facebook is just so easy to give a quick status update and be done. However, I realized that I missed blogging, so I am back, to stay.

So much has happened in the last year. As you know, our baby girl came home from Ethiopia. There were a lot of struggles and adjustments. She was very sick when she came to us, but finally we think all of that is behind us. She had what we think is her last of the medical challenges addressed in early August, which was a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy-which should address her obstructive sleep apnea-YAY! However, even that was not without challenges. She had some post-op complications that required a trip back to the hospital :(
On top of the medical challenges of the last year, there have of course, been the challenges of the family of three becoming a family of four, and getting to know each other. The greatest challenge of all, has been for AlinaJayne, who until June 12, 2010, had been the only child. We know it was tough for her to be 5 years old and suddenly have a 3 year old sister. No amount of pre-adoption preparation could prepare a child for that, regardless of what the "professionals" tell you. Then top of the last year with the cherry-Mama started a new job just 4 weeks before ChallieJayne came home. Whew. Through it all, and only by the Grace of God, things get better each and every day. Praise the Lord!

So, why the new blog title you might ask? It is simple.

Matt and I knew each other in High School, dated briefly and then went our separate ways. In June 1999, our paths crossed again (thanks to a chance meeting by our siblings) and we went on a date arranged by them. We were engaged in July and married in November!

It is no secret that for many years, Matt and I tried to have a biological child. When we realized that would not be an option, we discussed adoption, donor eggs, surrogacy, and every other road to parenting. We had felt a calling to China, but foolishly thought it was "too scary to deal with a foreign government" so we briefly pursued a domestic adoption. It did not take long to realize that was not the path we were meant to take, and that our child was waiting for us in China. In 2005, we started the process to bring our oldest daughter home, and in May, 2006, at the age of 15 months, AlinaJayne joined her Forever Family. We always wanted two children, but this time, we felt the Lord pulling us toward Ethiopia, so in 2007, we started the process to bring our second child home. In June, 2010, we welcomed 3 year old ChallieJayne to her Forever Family.

Wow, that was easy! Right? Piece of cake. Kristy and Matt couldn't have a biological child, so they "just adopted and they all lived happily ever after." The Lord was in control and it all worked out as it should. Right? WRONG! Well, yes, the Lord IS in control and it did all work out as it should, but we did not know that at the time!

For years and years, we tried the "traditional" way to have a baby. Then moved on to fertility pills. Then fertility pills and intrauterine inseminations. Then fertility shots and intrauterine inseminations. Then fertility shots and in-vitro fertilization. Soon our lives revolved around medication calendars, injection cycles, trips to the fertility doctor and ultrasounds. Matt even learned how to give me a shot into my hip muscle every morning for months at a time! Month after month, cycle after cycle, year after year, nothing, nada, zip, ZERO (except one very early miscarriage). Matt and I were not Christians at the time (well, not in the true sense, we went to church but were not saved and had no clue). We prayed, begged, pleaded with God, made deals, bargains "Please, if you just let us get pregnant ONE time, we promise to do ABC, XYZ." Guess, what? The Lord is not in the bargaining business! He did not answer one of our prayers! It was so difficult for so many years-I couldn't stand to see the baby section at the grocery store, or a department store, and a baby shower invitation? Forget it! It was a miracle if I could even bring myself to MAIL a gift. I was spent! The Lord never listened to one of our prayers, never paid a bit of attention to our pleadings. I cried out, and he ignored me..................

It is all so clear to me now. People ask me all the time "aren't you even a little bit sad that you never got pregnant? Doesn't it ever bother you that you never gave birth?" I can say, without reservation, with complete and total honesty and transparency, a resounding NO! When I look at our children, I thank God. I thank Him for them continually. I am blessed to be their Mother. I look and them now, and it scares me to realize I would have missed out on all of this, if I had gotten *my* way. I thank the Lord for unanswered prayers. When I look at my children, I am reminded "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9.......................