Wordless Wednesday-04/15/09

Happy Easter!!!!

What a great weekend we had. It was fairly low-keyed but so wonderful. Alina Jayne and I colored eggs on Friday-she is getting better at it, but needs to learn to place the eggs in the dye *carefully* instead of her high velocity shot-put! We still have a few cracked shells! It's okay, it makes for pretty hard-boiled eggs :O)



Her first batch


Taking a break for some hugs :O)


Our favorites

After work Saturday, I came home and did the Easter baking and other prep, so all we needed to do today was put everything into the oven (we have our holiday meal prep down to a science here). When I finished, I decided to join Alina Jayne outside to blow some bubbles and play some basketball. Turns out she was happier not sharing her bubbles, so I cleaned out flower beds and picked up many branches from our yard. Matt decided to try to see what he was capable of doing since his accident. Much to my surprise (and fear), he got the rototiller out and tilled the garden. Sure, it is self-propelled, but a mere 7 weeks ago, we weren't even sure he'd ever walk again!! He also found a spot to till so Alina Jayne can have her own small garden this year. After he showed her, the two of us went to the other side of the house to work. When it was just Alina Jayne and I, she told me "Mama, my Daddy is sooooooooo amazing!" Amen my dear! He certainly is!!!

Easter morning rolled around, and she was not all that excited about getting out of bed. I kind of hoped that since this was the first year she has referred to the bunny who brings the candy as the Easter Bunny (up until this year she called him the "Easy Bunny") that she would be more excited. Nope, it was not to be. She is the same child we had to wake up at 10:30AM on Christmas day, only to have her tell us "not now, let's sleep some more." Matt told her that the Easter Bunny had brought her some candy, but she just stayed in bed, insisting she could not *see* any candy from the bed, therefore, there was none. Actually, she got very little candy, she got more practical gifts than junk food, but she had a basket no less. She FINALLY got out of bed just before 8:30 to have a look! All she really wanted was a set of "knee pads for her elbows."


Letter & number DVD's


Magic washcloths

As I got dressed for church, she was watching me intently. Matt asked her "Doesn't Mama look nice?" She kept eying me up and down, nose wrinkled, and finally said "Um, Mama, you DON'T look like a princess" to which Daddy replied, "No honey, she looks like the future president." Now, I will admit, I have never worn or felt comfortable in dresses or skirts, so I have always had pantsuits. And my dear hubby never can seem to resist the Hillary jokes!


Alina Jayne and her "Amazing Daddy"


Alina Jayne and her Non-Princess Mama

My Dad and my niece Claudia (14) came for dinner today. We were supposed to have one additional guest, my niece Amber (almost 7). She spent the first year of her life with us after her Mama had a car accident, and we have a really great relationship because of that time we had with her. Unfortunately, her social calendar was full, so she was unable to join us. We had a great visit with my Dad and Claudie, ate entirely too much, and of course, Alina Jayne monopolized HER Papa's time and attention. She also spent a great deal of time playing (okay rough-housing and wrestling) with Claudia, who she completely adores! I must also mention that she adores and bosses Claudia constantly. "Claudie, don't ride your bike in the street, a car is gonna hit you and you'll get dead." "Claudie, you are NOT allowed to take pop to your room at Papa's," and of course, "Claudie, you are NOT allowed to eat on Papa's couch, you'll make a mess, go to the table!" Hmmm, sounds like she'd make a great older sister!


The rules of Candyland-Okay Papa, one more time, you move TWO spaces!


Teaching Papa the ways of the Internet


Wrestling with Claudie


Happy Easter!!!

Thankful Thursday-04/09/09

So, you are wondering what happened to my idea last week about posting just a pic or two on "Wordless Wednesday" right? I admit, I was remiss. Sometimes life gets in the way of my blogging (GASP)!

I thought I would title this post "Thankful Thursday" as we have so many things to be thankful for. Most importantly, we have each other, and of course, we are all so very lucky to still have Matt. Yes, I am talking about his accident again-I am reminded daily about how close we came to not having him-how easily I could be without my husband and soul mate, and Alina Jayne without her Father.

I thought an update on Matt was in order. He is doing remarkably well considering all he has been through. He saw the surgeon for the last time, who told him that 6 weeks post-op, the quadricep (thigh) muscles that were reconnected were (um, for lack of an easier way to explain non-medically)sewn together and reconnected would be as tightly connected and stable as they were going to be. The 6 week mark was last Saturday. Now that things are stable, he will be seeing another physician who will get him set up with rehab. He needs to learn how to correctly and fully use the muscles and the leg again. He can walk on the leg, but it is amazing how little things we take for granted are so difficult for him-and such milestones when he completes them. Like walking up and down stairs. We take that for granted, but he has to learn how to do this again after his accident. This is why he needs a good Physical Therapist to teach him how to strengthen the leg, and perform activities the rest of us do without giving it a second thought.

Yesterday he felt strong enough to stand on a ladder, and use his arms to pull himself into the 3rd floor attic through that same tiny opening he dropped out of when he cut his leg. I did not want him up there at all, first of all because I did not think he was strong enough, and secondly, because I was afraid it would be too stressful emotionally. However, he insisted he needed to get his tools (including the dreaded saw) out of there. I climbed part way up and looked around, and I was horrified to see how far away from the opening he was when he cut himself! I realized that after the saw cut his leg down to the bone, he actually managed to balance himself on the floor joists to get to the opening to get out of the attic-there is NO floor! It is a miracle he remianed conscious and did not fall through the ceiling to the 2nd floor below!

The area where the accident occurred looked better than I imagined (thankfully it was fairly dark when we were up there retrieving tools). We put the saw into a bag and brought it downstairs. Let's just say, parts of it were quite gruesome. I'll spare you the gory details, but I am sure you can imagine. I took some pics of it to file away-the G-rated versions are below.

Again, just *try* to tell me miracles don't happen.


In the operating room 02/21/09


On 04/08/09



The dreaded saw..............


Matt's new saw (aka the only one I'll EVER let him use again)!

Ice Fishing Anyone????

Since it was my weekend off, we decided to head out for a day of fishing. Mr. Weatherman said there would be "abundant sunshine and temps in the high 50's." Sounds great, right?

Ready for a day of fishing

It was a tad windy when we headed out this AM, but it was early and it felt pretty nice......Until we arrived at our fishing spot about 90 minutes later-the first clue that it was too cold to fish should have been when I caught the first fish and the poor guy was wearing a parka and earmuffs! BRRRR!

Yes, there was abundant sun, but the wind was so strong it over-powered the warmth of the sun. We spent about 3 hours there and decided to pack up and head home to cook our bratwurst and hot dogs-it was even too cold to stay and build a fire.

Snacking & playing with Play Doh


Her masterpiece (it is a bunny)


"The Bunny"

Despite the cold, it was great to be able to be outside, together as a family. After all, it was a mere 6 weeks ago that Matt had his accident. Things could be a whole lot different...............

Mama & Daddy's Miracle

Mama & Alina Jayne's Miracle (AKA My Soulmate)

Wordless Wednesdays-Installment #1-04/01/09

I've noticed a really cool thing on other blogs called "Wordless Wednesday." Essentially the blog author just posts a favorite picture or two on Wednesday, no blogging. I decided I'd try that out too.

What? I blogged today you say? Well, of course I did, I had to explain what I was doing! Next Wednesday will be wordless-I PROMISE!

The (Correct) Story of Alina Jayne.......

Friday morning as I was driving Alina Jayne to pre-school, she decided she wanted us to “tell stories.” It was the first official day of spring, and she told a story about the start of spring and the sun and the birds. Then she decided she wanted me to tell a story. Since I have not yet finished writing her Lifebook, I thought I would tell her another story about her beginnings, and how she became our daughter. Keep in mind, this is nothing new-we talk about this all the time.

I began my story like I usually do. “Once upon a time in a land far away called China, a Chinese woman had a baby in her tummy. One day that baby was born, but the Chinese Mama could not keep her. China called us and said they had a baby, and asked if we could be her Mama and Daddy. Daddy and I said yes, and we got on a plane and flew over the ocean to bring that baby home. That baby is you, our Alina Jayne, and you will be our girl forever.”

Silence...........(actually, many seconds of silence). I looked in the rear view mirror and am pretty sure I saw Alina Jayne subtly rolling her eyes. Finally she said “Mama, that is NOT my favorite story. Let me tell you how it really happened. Once upon a time in a land far, far away named China, a China Tummy Mama had a baby she could not keep. So you and Daddy came and got me and I am Alina Jayne. Now I am home and I am never going back to China. THE END. There Mama, that is how it goes.”

……she was only 15 months old when we adopted her from China. I guess she knows it better than we do!

Four Week "Anniversary"

Today is the four week anniversary of Matt’s traumatic accident. While he still has a long road to travel before he is functioning at the level he did prior to the accident, he has made tremendous strides. It is amazing that he survived, and that he has *any* function at all. Each time I see him walk, drive, or get out of bed unassisted, I thank God. As I have said before, it could have only been worse.

So many people have come forward to offer their prayers, help and support. Nobody will ever fully understand how much that has meant to us. Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!

Today was far different than just four weeks ago. We went fishing for the first time this year. This was the first outing we have had since Matt’s accident. I have to admit, I was VERY worried about him, but he was adamant that we *were* going! We usually go every weekend once the weather is nice, but this trip worried me so much-I was terrified he was not physically ready for this, and that he would undo all of the progress he has made. Since his accident, he has been so focused on enjoying every second of each day, and not allowing trivial things to steal his joy. I finally decided it might be good for him to sit and fish. I am so glad we went. He was able to relax, and we all were able to spend a gorgeous day together outside. This was great family time, and more healing than any medication or therapy.


Is it the Unibomber? Nope....just Kristy! It was sooooo cold this AM!


Seeing him fishing just four weeks after his accident....I cannot hold back the tears of joy


No, really, this is NOT the Unibomber's police sketch!


Heidi-our black German Shepherd

It is a running joke in our house that the youngest member of the family is always the one who catches the first fish, and 95% of the time, she also catches the most fish. In fact, last June was our first fishing trip ever. Alina Jayne and I had never fished before. SHE caught the first fish that day! Today was no different, we spent 5 hours fishing and the only person to catch a fish was (you guessed it) ALINA JAYNE! Sure, it was too small to keep, but she caught the first one no less!


The First Fish!!!!


Look you two, I can't catch ALL the fish! I'm playing now!


I know I should not be up here, but it is soooooo much fun!

What a difference four weeks makes. On February 21st at 5:30 PM, we were getting ready to go outside and build a snowman-and the next thing I knew, our dining room looked like a crime scene, and EMS was here taking Matt to the hospital for trauma surgery. On March 21st at 5:30PM, Matt, Alina Jayne and I were heading home from a day of fishing. Who said miracles don’t happen?


My Two Miracles......and yes, they are allowed to stick their tongues out at me!

A Most Difficult Decision

While we have been hoping to post some good news here soon, it looks as though this is not the day.

Matt and I have decided to place our adoption plans on hold for now. Our agency has been phenomenal to work with, and they are willing to place a hold on our file until we are ready to proceed.

Many circumstances have brought us to this decision. Not quite two weeks ago, we received a referral for a beautiful baby boy who we agreed to adopt. We accepted him as our son and signed the necessary paperwork. We experienced the elation felt with a referral, only to find out less than a week later, that circumstances beyond anyone's control would ultimately prevent us from being able to parent him. Obviously that decision was heart-breaking to make, and we are emotionally devastated.

We need time go through the grieving process before accepting the referral of another child. We want to be able to answer the referral call with excitement, and rejoice over the news. Right now, we are not ready for that, the sadness is really just now completely surfacing. Keep in mind, on top of everything else, the referral and loss of referral came a mere 12 days after Matt narrowly escaped losing his life. We had barely had enough time to come to grips with that, and we received the referral.

While Matt and I are both strong individuals (and even stronger together) who never give up on anything we believe in, we must yield to the emotions we are experiencing, so we can fully appreciate the gift we are to receive.

We are so thankful for all of the support of our friends and family throughout this difficult time-you have made such a difference. We look forward to being able to share in the good news of a baby in the future. Until then, stay tuned, I will certainly keep our blog updated.

Owlhaven-an awesome blog, book and giveaway!

Okay Mom’s out there, whether you’re a Mom to many or just one; I have some info to share with you.

Several months ago, a fellow waiting Mom shared a link to Mary’s (Owlhaven) blog (which I have linked to my blog on the right of the page). She and her husband have 10 kiddos from 3 different countries. I have enjoyed reading about how she manages a large family, plus homeschooling, gardening, taking photos, and writing a book!

Her book, “A Sane Woman’s Guide to Raising a Large Family” will be released in April and is currently available for pre-order. She is currently hosting a “book giveaway” and you can click on the link above and enter for a chance to win one of four copies she is giving away. I do not have a large family, just large responsibilities to my family! I read her blog daily, and I cannot wait to read this book. Even if I do not win a copy, you can bet I will order one for myself!

Good luck!

The Wheel..........

Anyone who knows us, knows what we have been through as a family recently.

That being said, the other day I was driving home from work and (for once) was not in the mood for NPR. Now, I LOVE NPR, but I had truly had enough "Gloom & Doom" for one person for a *very* long time.

I had heard this song before, but had kind of disregarded it. When heard it again the other day, I searched for the lyrics.

All I can say is............wow!

Jesus Take The Wheel-lyrics

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
she was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh

(Carrie Underwood)

Checking in & maybe some good news......

Hello again from our home.

We are still trying to get over the emotion of not being able to parent our son. While we are at peace with what was right for the baby and our family-the loss is in no way diminished or any less real. I think folks who have not been there need to imagine it as a miscarriage. No, we may never have physically held him in our arms, but he was our son, the child of our heart.

We are feeling more peace knowing he *may* be
finding his forever family-soon. Nothing would make us happier.

In the meantime, here are two of the people in my life who give me joy, peace, and a reason for doing all I do.
Enjoy…………………


NO guys! I am NOT sleeping in my dinner!


Creating her painting masterpiece


I love painting, Mama


Just checking Daddy out for Mama


Hold it Daddy-I think I have something here!


Hoping for good news in the near future.

Terrible News...............

This is the most difficult news to post.

We just wanted to let everyone know that we will not able to proceed with the adoption of our son. Due to circumstances that were beyond anyone's control, we came to the heartbreaking realization that we will not be able to parent him. Needless to say, we are devastated. He is a beautiful, sweet child, and he deserves the right home.

This has been a very harrowing last 48 hours for our family. We have done so much soul searching, shed so MANY tears, and spent sleepless nights thinking about everything.

We did decide we are not ready to bow out of the process at this point, and have let the agency director know that we want to remain on the waiting list. We believe our child is out there waiting for us. Tragically, he was not that child.

Please pray for this sweet child, that he is cared for and loved and that he finds a forever family that is right for him. We will never forget that precious, sweet face.

Our family, friends, and community of fellow waiting parents have been such a wonderful source of support and encouragement. We thank you for all you have done to help us through this.

Praying for good news in His time.

Matt's Second Chance.......

On Saturday February 21st, Matt had to have emergency surgery, and narrowly escaped losing his life.

He was in our 3rd floor attic working (we *were* going to finish it and make it a family room) and the circular saw jerked and hit his thigh. He has an (approx) 20cm x 6cm wound that extends down to his femur.

I had just been up to check on him and he was planning to take a break soon. I went back downstairs and about 5 minutes later, thought I heard him yelling, so I ran back up to the second floor to check on him. He told me to "get something for pressure" so I grabbed a twin bed sheet. I was not sure how I'd be able to climb up the tiny opening to the 3rd floor to get him down-there was barely enough room for one person! He kind of "fell" out of the opening and was (what I thought) holding his hand by his thigh. I thought he had cut his hand off. He collapsed at the top of our stairs and I called 911. There was soooooo much blood and I could not get it to stop. I realized it was *not* his hand when he lifted it up to hand me his belt- I saw his femur while I was tying his belt around his thigh to stop the bleeding.

He slid down to the 1st floor and I kept applying pressure. I had no idea if he'd hit an artery or not-there was so much blood, and when I tried to add more fabric to the pressure dressing as he was lying on our dining room floor, he tried to "help" me and knocked the dressing off. When a section of his thigh flopped over laterally, I then saw his fat, muscle, and his femur. What a day that was is an understatement!

EMS talked of airlifting him to the hospital, but decided the hospital was a safe ambulance ride. They called a trauma surgeon to do the surgery. He severed 2 of his 4 quadriceps muscles, barely missed sawing through his femur, and narrowly missed severing his femoral artery. This could have been nothing but worse-had he hit the artery, I would have been burying my husband!

After the surgery, I asked the surgeon if Matt would be able to walk on that leg again. He was very vague told me "I hope so, but there was so much trauma, and we have to hope the muscles that are sewn together will heal." I also asked how many sutures he had-the surgeon said he "lost count." They had to stitch him up inside and then out.

Needless to say, the house looked like a crime scene. I have never seen so much blood without someone losing their life. I took pictures for Matt to see after he was home-I knew if I cleaned it up without pics, Matt would never believe it!

All said, he spent 5 days in the hospital and is now home. He is starting to bear some weight on his leg, and the surgeon is shocked! He had his drain taken out on Thursday 2/26, then saw the surgeon again yesterday-but he wanted to wait another week to remove the stitches. Fine with me, I agree!

So in the meantime, I am helping him clean the wound, changing his dressings twice a day (our surgeon Alina Jayne is helping) and watching him push himself to regain full function.

Since we got married, we have ALWAYS been thankful for each day we have together. Now we realize we need to cherish each *second* we have. I had just talked to him before the accident, and 5 minutes later, he had his accident. Just that quickly, he could have been gone. By the grace of God, he is still here, Alina Jayne still has her Daddy, I still have my soulmate, and our baby in Ethiopia still has a Father here.

The pics I posted are fairly G rated. We have some taken in the OR before he was "fixed" but are not suitable for the faint of heart!







Matt's Aunt (Nonna) gave him a couple of very cute get well gifts. Not to make light of a very serious situation, but these were great! Humor is so healing!


Check out the "edited" cover




The only circular saw Matt will ever use again!

Stay tuned....................