The (Correct) Story of Alina Jayne.......

Friday morning as I was driving Alina Jayne to pre-school, she decided she wanted us to “tell stories.” It was the first official day of spring, and she told a story about the start of spring and the sun and the birds. Then she decided she wanted me to tell a story. Since I have not yet finished writing her Lifebook, I thought I would tell her another story about her beginnings, and how she became our daughter. Keep in mind, this is nothing new-we talk about this all the time.

I began my story like I usually do. “Once upon a time in a land far away called China, a Chinese woman had a baby in her tummy. One day that baby was born, but the Chinese Mama could not keep her. China called us and said they had a baby, and asked if we could be her Mama and Daddy. Daddy and I said yes, and we got on a plane and flew over the ocean to bring that baby home. That baby is you, our Alina Jayne, and you will be our girl forever.”

Silence...........(actually, many seconds of silence). I looked in the rear view mirror and am pretty sure I saw Alina Jayne subtly rolling her eyes. Finally she said “Mama, that is NOT my favorite story. Let me tell you how it really happened. Once upon a time in a land far, far away named China, a China Tummy Mama had a baby she could not keep. So you and Daddy came and got me and I am Alina Jayne. Now I am home and I am never going back to China. THE END. There Mama, that is how it goes.”

……she was only 15 months old when we adopted her from China. I guess she knows it better than we do!

Four Week "Anniversary"

Today is the four week anniversary of Matt’s traumatic accident. While he still has a long road to travel before he is functioning at the level he did prior to the accident, he has made tremendous strides. It is amazing that he survived, and that he has *any* function at all. Each time I see him walk, drive, or get out of bed unassisted, I thank God. As I have said before, it could have only been worse.

So many people have come forward to offer their prayers, help and support. Nobody will ever fully understand how much that has meant to us. Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!

Today was far different than just four weeks ago. We went fishing for the first time this year. This was the first outing we have had since Matt’s accident. I have to admit, I was VERY worried about him, but he was adamant that we *were* going! We usually go every weekend once the weather is nice, but this trip worried me so much-I was terrified he was not physically ready for this, and that he would undo all of the progress he has made. Since his accident, he has been so focused on enjoying every second of each day, and not allowing trivial things to steal his joy. I finally decided it might be good for him to sit and fish. I am so glad we went. He was able to relax, and we all were able to spend a gorgeous day together outside. This was great family time, and more healing than any medication or therapy.


Is it the Unibomber? Nope....just Kristy! It was sooooo cold this AM!


Seeing him fishing just four weeks after his accident....I cannot hold back the tears of joy


No, really, this is NOT the Unibomber's police sketch!


Heidi-our black German Shepherd

It is a running joke in our house that the youngest member of the family is always the one who catches the first fish, and 95% of the time, she also catches the most fish. In fact, last June was our first fishing trip ever. Alina Jayne and I had never fished before. SHE caught the first fish that day! Today was no different, we spent 5 hours fishing and the only person to catch a fish was (you guessed it) ALINA JAYNE! Sure, it was too small to keep, but she caught the first one no less!


The First Fish!!!!


Look you two, I can't catch ALL the fish! I'm playing now!


I know I should not be up here, but it is soooooo much fun!

What a difference four weeks makes. On February 21st at 5:30 PM, we were getting ready to go outside and build a snowman-and the next thing I knew, our dining room looked like a crime scene, and EMS was here taking Matt to the hospital for trauma surgery. On March 21st at 5:30PM, Matt, Alina Jayne and I were heading home from a day of fishing. Who said miracles don’t happen?


My Two Miracles......and yes, they are allowed to stick their tongues out at me!

A Most Difficult Decision

While we have been hoping to post some good news here soon, it looks as though this is not the day.

Matt and I have decided to place our adoption plans on hold for now. Our agency has been phenomenal to work with, and they are willing to place a hold on our file until we are ready to proceed.

Many circumstances have brought us to this decision. Not quite two weeks ago, we received a referral for a beautiful baby boy who we agreed to adopt. We accepted him as our son and signed the necessary paperwork. We experienced the elation felt with a referral, only to find out less than a week later, that circumstances beyond anyone's control would ultimately prevent us from being able to parent him. Obviously that decision was heart-breaking to make, and we are emotionally devastated.

We need time go through the grieving process before accepting the referral of another child. We want to be able to answer the referral call with excitement, and rejoice over the news. Right now, we are not ready for that, the sadness is really just now completely surfacing. Keep in mind, on top of everything else, the referral and loss of referral came a mere 12 days after Matt narrowly escaped losing his life. We had barely had enough time to come to grips with that, and we received the referral.

While Matt and I are both strong individuals (and even stronger together) who never give up on anything we believe in, we must yield to the emotions we are experiencing, so we can fully appreciate the gift we are to receive.

We are so thankful for all of the support of our friends and family throughout this difficult time-you have made such a difference. We look forward to being able to share in the good news of a baby in the future. Until then, stay tuned, I will certainly keep our blog updated.

Owlhaven-an awesome blog, book and giveaway!

Okay Mom’s out there, whether you’re a Mom to many or just one; I have some info to share with you.

Several months ago, a fellow waiting Mom shared a link to Mary’s (Owlhaven) blog (which I have linked to my blog on the right of the page). She and her husband have 10 kiddos from 3 different countries. I have enjoyed reading about how she manages a large family, plus homeschooling, gardening, taking photos, and writing a book!

Her book, “A Sane Woman’s Guide to Raising a Large Family” will be released in April and is currently available for pre-order. She is currently hosting a “book giveaway” and you can click on the link above and enter for a chance to win one of four copies she is giving away. I do not have a large family, just large responsibilities to my family! I read her blog daily, and I cannot wait to read this book. Even if I do not win a copy, you can bet I will order one for myself!

Good luck!

The Wheel..........

Anyone who knows us, knows what we have been through as a family recently.

That being said, the other day I was driving home from work and (for once) was not in the mood for NPR. Now, I LOVE NPR, but I had truly had enough "Gloom & Doom" for one person for a *very* long time.

I had heard this song before, but had kind of disregarded it. When heard it again the other day, I searched for the lyrics.

All I can say is............wow!

Jesus Take The Wheel-lyrics

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
she was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh

(Carrie Underwood)

Checking in & maybe some good news......

Hello again from our home.

We are still trying to get over the emotion of not being able to parent our son. While we are at peace with what was right for the baby and our family-the loss is in no way diminished or any less real. I think folks who have not been there need to imagine it as a miscarriage. No, we may never have physically held him in our arms, but he was our son, the child of our heart.

We are feeling more peace knowing he *may* be
finding his forever family-soon. Nothing would make us happier.

In the meantime, here are two of the people in my life who give me joy, peace, and a reason for doing all I do.
Enjoy…………………


NO guys! I am NOT sleeping in my dinner!


Creating her painting masterpiece


I love painting, Mama


Just checking Daddy out for Mama


Hold it Daddy-I think I have something here!


Hoping for good news in the near future.

Terrible News...............

This is the most difficult news to post.

We just wanted to let everyone know that we will not able to proceed with the adoption of our son. Due to circumstances that were beyond anyone's control, we came to the heartbreaking realization that we will not be able to parent him. Needless to say, we are devastated. He is a beautiful, sweet child, and he deserves the right home.

This has been a very harrowing last 48 hours for our family. We have done so much soul searching, shed so MANY tears, and spent sleepless nights thinking about everything.

We did decide we are not ready to bow out of the process at this point, and have let the agency director know that we want to remain on the waiting list. We believe our child is out there waiting for us. Tragically, he was not that child.

Please pray for this sweet child, that he is cared for and loved and that he finds a forever family that is right for him. We will never forget that precious, sweet face.

Our family, friends, and community of fellow waiting parents have been such a wonderful source of support and encouragement. We thank you for all you have done to help us through this.

Praying for good news in His time.

Matt's Second Chance.......

On Saturday February 21st, Matt had to have emergency surgery, and narrowly escaped losing his life.

He was in our 3rd floor attic working (we *were* going to finish it and make it a family room) and the circular saw jerked and hit his thigh. He has an (approx) 20cm x 6cm wound that extends down to his femur.

I had just been up to check on him and he was planning to take a break soon. I went back downstairs and about 5 minutes later, thought I heard him yelling, so I ran back up to the second floor to check on him. He told me to "get something for pressure" so I grabbed a twin bed sheet. I was not sure how I'd be able to climb up the tiny opening to the 3rd floor to get him down-there was barely enough room for one person! He kind of "fell" out of the opening and was (what I thought) holding his hand by his thigh. I thought he had cut his hand off. He collapsed at the top of our stairs and I called 911. There was soooooo much blood and I could not get it to stop. I realized it was *not* his hand when he lifted it up to hand me his belt- I saw his femur while I was tying his belt around his thigh to stop the bleeding.

He slid down to the 1st floor and I kept applying pressure. I had no idea if he'd hit an artery or not-there was so much blood, and when I tried to add more fabric to the pressure dressing as he was lying on our dining room floor, he tried to "help" me and knocked the dressing off. When a section of his thigh flopped over laterally, I then saw his fat, muscle, and his femur. What a day that was is an understatement!

EMS talked of airlifting him to the hospital, but decided the hospital was a safe ambulance ride. They called a trauma surgeon to do the surgery. He severed 2 of his 4 quadriceps muscles, barely missed sawing through his femur, and narrowly missed severing his femoral artery. This could have been nothing but worse-had he hit the artery, I would have been burying my husband!

After the surgery, I asked the surgeon if Matt would be able to walk on that leg again. He was very vague told me "I hope so, but there was so much trauma, and we have to hope the muscles that are sewn together will heal." I also asked how many sutures he had-the surgeon said he "lost count." They had to stitch him up inside and then out.

Needless to say, the house looked like a crime scene. I have never seen so much blood without someone losing their life. I took pictures for Matt to see after he was home-I knew if I cleaned it up without pics, Matt would never believe it!

All said, he spent 5 days in the hospital and is now home. He is starting to bear some weight on his leg, and the surgeon is shocked! He had his drain taken out on Thursday 2/26, then saw the surgeon again yesterday-but he wanted to wait another week to remove the stitches. Fine with me, I agree!

So in the meantime, I am helping him clean the wound, changing his dressings twice a day (our surgeon Alina Jayne is helping) and watching him push himself to regain full function.

Since we got married, we have ALWAYS been thankful for each day we have together. Now we realize we need to cherish each *second* we have. I had just talked to him before the accident, and 5 minutes later, he had his accident. Just that quickly, he could have been gone. By the grace of God, he is still here, Alina Jayne still has her Daddy, I still have my soulmate, and our baby in Ethiopia still has a Father here.

The pics I posted are fairly G rated. We have some taken in the OR before he was "fixed" but are not suitable for the faint of heart!







Matt's Aunt (Nonna) gave him a couple of very cute get well gifts. Not to make light of a very serious situation, but these were great! Humor is so healing!


Check out the "edited" cover




The only circular saw Matt will ever use again!

Stay tuned....................